Six Principles of Tolerance

 

(Adapted from the New Year talk of Swami Paramarthananda)

Tolerance is a very important virtue which is universally required.  The scriptures mainly use the word ‘titiksha’, for tolerance and also the words ‘ksanthi’ and ‘ksama’  as well in some places. The six principles of tolerance as presented by the scriptures can be stated as:

1)    Dis-empower the world to influence your attitude by removing ‘unwelcome’ mental label.

2)    Empower yourself by developing faith in yourself and God.

3)    Avoid magnification of problems by thinking about solutions and not on problems themselves.

4)    Adopt Self-restraint avoiding impulsive responses.

5)    Be objective and fair when judging others.

6)    Always postpone aggressive measures.

The first three of the above six principles are applicable as bhoktha and the other three as kartha of actions and experiences. Now we shall see them one by one in detail.  

Let us remember always that God has created the world with pairs of opposites and also with the law of karma that operates on the principle of  punyam and papam pair.  These pairs of opposites are Iswara Srishti, God’s creation.  Apart from these we also create a pair of opposites, mentally labelling people and experiences as ‘welcome’ and  ‘unwelcome’, which we can call as ‘Jiva srishti’.   And once we put the label it colours our attitude and reaction.  Through the ‘unwelcome’ label we empower the world to hurt us through those experiences.  Let us remember the advice of Lord Krishna in Gita (2-14) and bear with unpleasant events and experiences calmly without labelling them.

Matraasparsaastu kaunteya seetoshnasukhaduhkhadah I

Aagamaapaayino’nityaas taamstitikshaswa bharata.II

The contacts of the senses with the objects (and persons), which cause heat and cold and pleasure and pain, have a beginning and an end; they are impermanent; endure them bravely, O Arjuna! (2-14)

So whatever unpleasant experience comes your way, accept it without mentally labelling it as unwelcome, with the understanding that it is a product of your karma happening with the will of God and it is temporary only. 

Secondly we must strengthen ourselves to meet such contingencies by tapping our inner resources.  And in your effort at self-strengthening have God as your aid by having strong, unshakeable faith in Him.  Steadfast, sincere bhakthi gives the skill of tapping the resources from God like charging one’s cell phone.  Let us remember always Lord Krishna’s reassuring words in Gita (18-61): “Ishwarah sarvabhootanaam hriddeshe’rjuna tishthati; (The Lord dwells in the hearts of all beings, O Arjuna, )”.  So Lord is never away from one.  So build up your faith in yourself with faith in God who is within you, all resourceful and all powerful.

Third principle of tolerance is non-magnification of problems.  In the case of an unpleasant solution, we not only label it as unwelcome but also brood over it. The more we brood over it, the greater it gets magnified in the mind, generating harmful emotions of worry, anxiety and fear.  Instead of thinking about the problem engage your mind in thinking about the solution employing the first two principles i.e. with the attitude - ‘Whatever happens is our karma and we will get over it with God’s help’.  When we let the problem linger in our mind, not only it gets magnified but we look for a scapegoat to transfer the responsibility for the problem from ourselves, which will give rise to negative emotions of vengeance and hatred, which are the antithesis of tolerance.  To prevent this, practice self-suggestion regularly that “World does not give me problems.  It is only God delivering me the karma phalam using world as medium and let me not blame people or objects for my unwelcome experiences”   

The most important principle of tolerance is self-restraint. By self-restraint is meant the avoidance of all impulsive actions which is called ‘Athma Vinigraha’ by Lord Krishna in Bhagavad Gita.  This self-restraint should be practiced both at speech level and action level.  In impulsive response, control cannot be exercised as the response is spontaneous.  There can be no thinking of the consequences, long-term and short-term; at the individual level, at the family level, at the professional level etc. We cannot take into account also all the people who have a stake

The next principle is objectivity, fairness.  We should not judge a person in a hurry though our tendency is to take steps in a hurry, when we are going through a difficult and painful situation. At such times we tend to blame others without proper enquiry, without proper data and even without hearing them. This is a prejudiced approach as prejudice is only pre-judgement without complete data.  Just as we do not want to become a victim of other’s prejudice, we should take care to see others do not become a victim of our prejudice

Last principle is avoiding aggressive measures until other options are exhausted. Scriptures point out that when aggressive and peaceful measures present themselves, tolerance is postponing aggressive actions, physical and verbal, giving a chance for peaceful measures to work.  In our anxiety to give back the pain we suffered, let us not make it the first measure. Though aggression is appealing let us not forget that the aggression can provoke counter aggression and in turn counter- counter aggression, thus escalating the problem.  What is advised is only postponement  and not  abandonment as we can see from Lord Krishna’s exhortation to Arjuna in Gita (2-37) – “Tasmaad uttishtha kaunteya yuddhaaya kritanishchayah (therefore, stand up, O son of Kunti, resolved to fight!).

Life’s Journey is a rugged journey full of ups and downs.  To withstand and survive successfully the mental jolts, the human mind must be equipped with appropriate shock absorber and the value of tolerance lies in that it serves as a psychological shock observer that helps one to preserve the poise and grace, peace and serenity in the challenging journey of life.

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