“I”, Real and imposter

Kenopanishad opens with a question by an unnamed sishya who wants to know what is the divine power that makes the eyes see, ears hear, tongue speak, prana function and mind coordinate the sense functions.  To this the Guru, who is also not named replies that it is the divine Power that can be termed as the Mind of the mind, Eye of the eye, Ear of the ear, Tongue of the tongue and Prana of prana (capital letters are used to distinguish the Power from the other). He later goes on to add that whether it is the tongue, ears, eyes, prana or mind they all owe their function to the Grace of this Power, but this Power is beyond their orbit of perception. This Power we can also define as the “I” of the I, the ego, in the sense that it is the Power’s grace that lets the ego exist, boasting about its possessions, profession, position etc. Maybe the Guru, would have added this also had the sishya asked “What is the divine Power that makes the I feel it is same even when the body, mind and intellect changes from childhood to old age through youth and middle age and does not go to sleep even when the body, mind and intellect goes to sleep in sushupthi, deep sleep state, every day.

 

In fact this ego makes its appearance only a little later after birth.  I remember my grandson telling in his childhood days “ vadigi kavala” in telugu, meaning “he wants”, whenever he wants something.  Years ago there was a little boy near my brother’s apartment, who used to say “ Sethumadhavan wants” whenever he wants something, Sethumadhavan being his name.  Once this ego appears it takes over and thereafter I, I, I and my, my, my dominates one’s life story. And this I with the added name to distinguish it from other I’s becomes our identity badge, giving us individuality, our c.v. personality.  Thereafter the ego masquerades as the self, donning the mantle of I, displacing the Power, referred to also as Brahman, Being, God and so on, which only is one’s real Self.  And this ego is the imposter I.  

 

"Ego is an acronym for Edge God Out", Burt Harding says, for with ego displacing the Real I, God is sought only for getting something for this pseudo I or for consolidating something that is its my.  Ego is only a facet of the mind when it identifies itself with doership and enjoyership, and one cannot find true peace and real happiness so long as one stays in the mistaken belief that ego is one’s real Self.  That is why Sri Ramana Maharishi used to ask any person who goes to him with the story that he is troubled or distressed, to enquire who is it that says I am troubled or distressed.  For in these statements “I am distressed”. “I am troubled” the I that is employed is only the pseudo I, the ego and not the real I, our true Self that is beyond sorrow and happiness, knowledge and ignorance, being itself Sat Chit Ananda. 

 

Our real Self is the Consciousness, which is the same in every person, while the egos are many as the minds are many. Erwin Schrodinger , the famous physicist and Nobel Prize winner, echoes this idea when he says in his book “What is Life” that Consciousness is singular of which the plural is unknown and that there is only one thing.  Consciousness is only one and it manifests as many in the minds as It makes them sentient as one electricity manifests as many glowing filaments in different lights.  The one who realizes his Real self realizes this Oneness.  Of this person who has realized the Oneness, Isavasya upanishad says in mantra 6 that there is no delusion or sorrow for him. This realized person, who sees Oneness in all, sees as a corollary himself in others and others in himself. And so this person, as the same upanishad says in Mantra 5, has no hatred for others. So this discovery of “who am I” will not only help to rid one of delusions, depressions and personal unhappiness, but collectively can bring in universal peace in a strife-torn and hate-filled world.  So the right message for all-round peace and happiness in the world at any time, be it Christmas, New Year or any other occasion will be “Discover your Real Self, the Oneness in yourself and the same Oneness in your neighbors as well and don’t be misled by the imposter into building walls of separation and hatred between yourself and your neighbors” 

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I am, therefore I think.

First I wish to clarify one or two points arising out of the earlier blog “I am Brahman”. When I equate “I am” with Brahman, what I am equating is the amness of “I am”, that stands for pure Existence, which is eternal, not limited by time or space. This is similar to equating “I” with Brahman, where I that is equated is not I with the upadhi of body-mind-complex but a upadhi-free I. Pure Existence is Sat, and Sat is only Chit and as the One only without a second, is infinite and having no second it is total fulfilment itself, for what can It need when there is nothing else?  So one can refer to Brahman by any one of these epithets, pure Existence, pure Consciousness or by any other epithet that stands for this, and not necessarily by all the three Sat, Chit, Aanand as in Taittriya Upanishad.  After all Brahman itself is not a name but only a pointer to understand the part-less, indescribable Infinite, the one absolute Truth without the second. It is the only thing that is no-thing as well.  In Chandogya Upanishad it is referred to as Bhuma as well.  Eckhart Stolle, a contemporary spiritual teacher, and Burt Harding, a hypno-therapist turned spiritual teacher and a fan of Ramana Maharishi refer to It as “Now”, Now as a container and not as the ordinarily encapsulated one in time frame, and also as Being, emphasising It is the Only Absolute Reality, without compromising It being “You” only.

Now let us consider the famous statement made by Rene Descartes, the French philosopher “I think, therefore I am”. This reads as though our existence needs proof to ourselves and this proof is supplied to us through the fact we are thinking. The proof must be to ourselves only for we alone know our mind (or we assume we know our mind). Does our existence really need proof to ourselves? Do we doubt our existence any time, even if it is challenged by others? Certainly not. Even in a dark room where we need a light to know whether anything is there, we readily respond “yes, I am”, if anybody asks “Are you there”.  Even in deep sleep where all our senses along with the mind are dysfunctional are we not aware of our existence, that enables us to make the statement “’ I slept soundly; I did not know anything”?  “I am” is a statement of our existence, which is self-evident, while “I think” is a statement of the functionality of the mind, which is dependent on “I am” our Consciousness.  Mind by itself is insentient being the product of the total satvic content of the pancha bhuthas, the five primordial elements of space, air, fire, water and earth, which are by themselves inert.  “I am” as such represents Consciousness that is my real Self that lends sentiency to the mind by its very presence. So in this famous statement Descartes has put the cart before the horse, basing Consciousness on thinking.

Any cosmetic change in this statement replacing ‘think’ by ‘feel’ or ‘perceive’ will not improve matters.  For ‘feel’ and ‘perceive’ are also functions of the mind where sense-organs of perception are also involved. While mind is the product of total satvic content of the pancha buthas, the sense-organs of perception are formed of the satvic content of the individual bhuthas.  Individual bhuthas being inert, the sense-organs of perception are also insentient by themselves and they also derive their sentiency through mind made sentient through the presence of Consciousness. So the amendments will suffer from the same error of predicating the existence of the support on the supported.  So only if the statement is amended as “I am, therefore I think”, it will reflect the correct position, I think.

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I am Brahman

The statement, “I am Brahman” is the English translation of the Mantra “ Aham Brahmasmi” that appears in Brihadharanyaka Upanishad.  We can split this statement into two parts ‘I am’ and ‘Brahman’ and analyse what this statement conveys.

 ‘I am’ is a simple statement that any live human being can make.  From this statement can you guess the sex, age, religion, colour, or nationality of the person who makes it or has made it? No. It is a simple statement of awareness applicable to male or female, young, old, middle age or child; Hindu, Muslim, Christian or of any other religion or its sub-division.  In fact it is valid for every human being on this planet, why to every living being, if they could speak.  Let us now limit our analysis to human beings. In that sense though it is individualistic, in that it is applicable to an individual, it is also universal in that it can apply to any individual.  Simple ‘I am’, we can call the statement of oneness as it is same for one and all, becomes a statement of separation when we add our name and form to it, form that includes our educational, professional and achievement details, in short our personality details.  ‘I am’, the Consciousness is our real Self and our personality details constitute our ego self.  ‘I am”, I call the real Self as it is unchanging from birth to death while everything else about us keep on changing and is a statement of our consciousness and existence without any qualifications.  We are the mix of our real Self and the ego self.  The ego self sets one individual apart from the other, while the real Self is identical for all humans.  Normally we refer to our ego self only, by the simple I and the real Self by Athma.

Brahman, a Sanskrit word, stands for the Cosmic Supreme that is behind and beyond all creation.  This is just a word that is a pointer to the Supreme as the Supreme has no form or name and is beyond any conceptualisation or objectification. The word Brahman itself means big, to signify that it is simply big without any limitation as to size or dimension, indicating that it is bigger than anything you can possibly think or conceive. This we can see from the way Upanishads try to define the indefinable Brahman. One method is to say it negatively  i.e. what it is not.  In Mundakopanishad, Brahman is described as one having no sense organs, one that cannot be seen, one that has no attributes, one that cannot  be grasped, one that has no origin, in Mantra 1.1.6.  The other method is to describe it in such a way that you cannot form a picture of it from the description.  In the above mantra in the latter part Brahman is described as all-pervading, subtler than the subtlest and imperishable.  Brahman is also described as pure Existence and pure Consciousness in Taittreya Upanishad.

When the translation is read as such without splitting into the two parts and equating them, it means the ego self, I, is the same as Cosmic Supreme, Brahman, which appears incorrect on the face of it.  But if we split it into two parts ‘I am’ and ‘Brahman’ and then equate them, the statement then means one’s real Self, Athma is the same as the Cosmic Supreme, Brahman. It is like the waves and the ocean being equated as one on the basis both are water only .  The Mantra in original is termed Mahavakhya, as it reveals the identity of Jivathma, individual’s real Self with Paramathma, Cosmic Supreme. To bring out this meaning clearly in the translation, I feel the translation must read as “’I am’ is Brahman”, instead of “I am Brahman”.  This does not affect the original Mantra, only it brings out the meaning more clearly in the translation, for in the original Mantra, I, the ego, is not equated with Brahman but ‘I am’, the Consciousness and Existence, is only equated with Brahman, that is also Existence and Consciousness.  Language purists, please excuse.

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Living in the present

I have received a comment from a good friend quoting Swami Dayananda, which states "the present moment is undefinable. It is not even a micro or a nano second. One cannot stop the motion of time to live in the present".  So I thought I will write a bit in detail explaining what I mean by living in present.

Yes, ‘present’ is undefinable as a container. But usually we refer to the time content only by the word present.  This content can be small or big as in present moment or present millennium. In the present, we act physically with our sense organs and also mentally with our mind.  Mind can be focused on the action we are engaged in or employ itself in an activity connected with it or may be, even totally unconnected with it.  For example, as you are reading this blog your eyes are travelling over the words while the mind is absorbing the meaning, forming an overall picture.  This it can do with concentration, eyes and mind focused on the words, with no disturbance and without simultaneously reacting to the ideas or it can do without concentration, i.e. with a background noise like music, or forming a judgment simultaneously about the idea or comparing it with similar ideas, it has read, even at the time of reading itself or merely wandering elsewhere in totally unconnected fields.  Reading with concentration as explained first, is an example of living in the present. This is true of any action, whether it is listening, eating, walking, praying, meditating etc.  This means that when our body is involved in any action our mind must also be 100% in it, without travelling back or ahead or tangentially.  Actions include enjoyment of fruits of actions as well.  When there is a total acceptance of the results without complaints or without excitement, then we are living in the present, while experiencing the fruits of action.  When mind and body as a single unit are focused on the action, then we are living in the present, while acting.

Our thoughts are mostly about the past or the future and not on the present. So when we live in the present, we have a thought-free mind and a thought-free mind is a happy mind, free of stress and tension. This happiness is not the one coming from external things or events, but the intrinsic happiness that is one’s real nature and that comes from mind’s quietness.  It is this happiness we enjoy in deep sleep, when the mind is totally quiet and the sense organs are not in contact with the outside world.  When the mind is absolutely quiet, one is in contact with one’s real Self, Consciousness, which is of the nature of happiness only.  For our real Self is in essence, Brahman, whose nature is Sat, Chit, Aanand i.e pure Existence, pure Consciousness and pure Bliss.  Present always, is. This isness is pure Existence, Sat.  When one can consciously keep the mind quiet, one is in one’s true Self and so enjoys true bliss.  It is this happiness that realized souls like Ramana Maharishi enjoyed and radiated always.

Though we may not be able to live in the present continuously in all our activities in the waking state like these realized souls, we can make a beginning by practicing it at the time of prayer at home and at the time of our visit to any temple.  As our eyes are fixed on the form, let our lips chant His Nama and mind be contemplating His glory.  This effort to live in the present can be slowly extended to our other activities like eating etc., and through this let us root ourselves more and more in our real divine Self  by living in the present. When practiced over a time as a sadhana, this will help us to attain purity of mind by imbibing the positive qualities that Sri Krishna describes as Daivi Sampath in the 16^th chapter of Gita, besides helping us to lead a stress free happy life, with no regrets for the past and  fear of the future.

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Getting old

We all live in two planes all the time, physical and mental.  In the physical plane we have no option; we have to live in the present.  However much we want, we will not to be able to reverse our body makeup to the past, or forward it to the future. The millions of cells in the body constantly undergo change executing their dance of creation and destruction faster at young age, pace slowing down as the body gets old.  At a certain stage the destruction is at a greater rate than creation, a clear forerunner of what is in store for the body as a whole. So in the physical plane one is compulsorily forced to live in present. 

But in the mental plane, it is a different story. Here we have the option to stay in the present or wander in the past or fly into the future. Most of the time we either live in the past or in the future, to escape from the present or due to the mind’s fickle nature, thus compensating for the body’s inability as well. Mind moving in the past brings in worries, regrets and guilt feeling to the present and moving in the future brings fear and anxieties to the present. One may ask: Do we not relive happy moments of the past? Do we not have pleasant expectations of the future? Yes, we do at times feel happy recollecting past moments of joy or bask in future expectations of happiness. But if we carefully analyse these moments, we will discover our nostalgia for the past is tinged with regrets and visions of future happiness laced with fear of possible pitfalls in the path to future. So negative emotions are inescapable when our mind stays in the past or runs into the future.  Not only that.  Our negative emotions in the present like anger and hate get fuelled by our thoughts from the past. This tendency to live in the past gets more pronounced as one gets old. 

As one gets old, one finds one is losing control over the body, with each part declaring its independence one by one or sometimes collectively. Some lose their functions partially/ totally. As for future, more helplessness and afflictions, not to speak of exit stare at one. One tends to feel lonely and neglected as one feels one has lot to offer by way of advice but there is no one to listen to it, nor has anybody time to listen.  So to escape from all that one takes refuge in the thoughts of past. This in turn leads to depression and to self pity.  Unless one comes to terms with advancing age and learn to accept the present with all its drawbacks, one will find life miserable and in turn make life miserable for others as well who want to help.

To accept and live in the present:
Keep yourself happy always.  When you feel really happy, your heart is full and there is no room for negative emotions.  Even if you cannot feel happy, fake it to make it. For whenever you feel happy, you are very much in the present, with neither past haunting you nor future threatening you.

   Keep yourself engaged to discover the divinity in yourself, which Sri Vivekananda declares as end and aim of human life.  Study, reflection and Satsang are three important aids in this regard.  Study of sastras namely Gita and Upanishads with the help of a good commentary or by listening to a good teacher, reflection on the sastraic teachings, getting the doubts cleared through discussion with the likeminded peers or by referring to the teacher and satsang or association with people who have the same tastes in sastraic study will help one to get focused in discovering one’s links with divinity and also stay focused in the present.

   Stay tuned to the presence of God in all things, while maintaining through prayer your links with God, God as Karmaphaladhata who can give you the strength of mind to bear the strong adverse Karmaphalas and minimize or mitigate the weak adverse Karmaphalas. Let not the frailities of the body affect your mind by remembering that old age is another role you are playing in the stage of the world as childhood, youth, and middle age, in the past, and all these roles do not really affect your real Self, Athma, your link with divinity

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