The Cause of inner conflicts.

             We can categorize human suffering into three broad categories, based on categories of conflicts that one encounters which results in one’s suffering.  They are: -

1)    Conflict with nature

2)    Conflict with other external beings

3)    Conflict within oneself

Conflict with nature occurs due to external factors such as earthquakes, floods, tsunami, accidents, and the like, that are beyond one’s control and results in loss of loved ones, loss of livelihood, physical disability etc.  Conflicts with other external beings happen due to disagreements, disharmony and other differences amongst   fellow human beings resulting in fights, family turmoil etc. This also includes suffering caused by other creatures like dog, snake, and the like, through their bites.  Conflicts within oneself arise due to emotional upheavals such as anger, jealousy, guilt etc. resulting in depression and the like. Of these three, prevention and cure for the third one is entirely in the hands of the individual, this being an internal struggle. When this is achieved, it helps one automatically to overcome the other two sufferings as well. In this blog, let us see some of the causes that lead to this inner conflict, which we shall list as below:

1)    Attachment to possessions and loved ones

2)    Unfulfilled desires

3)    Comparing oneself with others

4)    Seeking peace outside

5)    Expecting the world to move as per one’s wishes

6)    Not viewing sufferings as blessings in disguise

7)    Not understanding the true meaning of success.

8)    The three illusions that are the source of one’s problems

Let us see them briefly one by one in the above order.

            Material assets and close relatives are the prime source of suffering for a majority of persons.  One needs to learn to practice detachment from objects and others as they bind one more and more to the world and to one’s limited body and mind.  It is hard to achieve, no doubt, but when one achieves one feels free, as he is no longer dependent on something or somebody for his peace and happiness.  Relationships or possessions cannot be considered as absolute, as each one will have to proceed alone to the ultimate goal.  Practicing detachment from objects and others also helps in managing the other causes for human suffering.

            Restlessness persists in life in spite of many of one’s desires being fulfilled.  The peace and happiness that one feels one has attained on any achievement wanes in course of life yielding place to new desire associated with the fulfilled desire. Hoping to attain peace through fulfillment of desire is like trying to put out a flame with butter.  The pursuit of unfulfilled desires seeking satisfaction and happiness mostly results in frustration, stress, anger, jealousy and so on.  Instead of ridding one of suffering, it adds to it.  When one’s desires are subservient to the main goal which is spiritual, pursuit of them is free from negative emotions.

            Indulging in comparison with others who are doing better, comparing their possessions and achievement with one’s own will only result in discontent and jealousy.  One should learn to be focused on one’s own achievement and possessions, with a feeling of contentment.  One should learn to accept others’ success as well while rejoicing in one’s own, without making any comparison.

            Everyone wants peace, struggles to achieve it in some way or the other and manages to achieve it now and then, from external sources.  The peace one gets from external sources is fragile and short-lived leaving him in misery when it ends. He does not realize peace is his real nature as Athma is his Real Self and not Ahamkara. The main cause of losing peace is due to mental disturbances that arise from Ahamkara and Mamakara.  When one loses one’s mobile phone one is disturbed and loses mental peace. But when one gifts one’s mobile phone and it is lost one does not feel agitated and lose his mental peace because he has no sense of myness or Mamakara in respect of the phone. Bhagavad Gita advises one to live with nirmamatva i.e. freedom from the sense of myness. This feeling of nirmamatva one can achieve only if one remembers all the time subconsciously that whatever one has is only a temporary possession as one can carry nothing with him, not even his body, when he leaves the world.  This quality will help one to live in the world with people and possessions without clinging to them.

            Expecting everybody and everything around one to be and to behave as one wants lands one in mental suffering more often.  Learning to accept people and their behavior, as they are, saves one from mental agony and sorrow. It does not mean one should accept injustice tamely or rude behaviour silently.  Only one protests or reacts in a calm and dignified manner to point out that such behaviour is not acceptable avoiding all unethical means.

            Swami Vivekananda says that misery is a great teacher and one has to train in this moral gymnasium called life, through its ups and downs.  If one is mature and open to reason, adversities can bring about a change for the better in one. A pregnant woman willingly undergoes the suffering of child-bearing and child-birth as she finds fulfillment in being a mother.  There are also people who turn bitter and get depressed with the question “why me?”. Adversities can bring about a change for the better if one is mature and open to self-analysis and does not go about seeking scape-goats to blame. Life’s pains, trials and tribulations have a beneficial impact on the thoughts and emotions of the concerned person, if he or she accepts them in the right spirit.  On the contrary reacting with cursing one’s fate, only worsens the situation.  Treated rightly suffering becomes a great teacher imparting strength and wisdom to one.

            Generally material success is viewed as success.  But attaining the end with peace of mind and happiness that is born of a sense of contentment in life is to viewed as success as it makes one strong and powerful. For true success must bring enhancement of one’s personality, purification of mind, joy, and happiness in life.  One needs to develop material achievements with inner growth to develop a successful personality.

            The three illusions to which one’s problems can be traced to are:

1)    Treating the body-mind complex as one’s Real Self

2)    Thinking that money can give total security

3)    Imagining that more sense pleasures mean more happiness.

Actually, one's Real Self is not the physical body-mind complex but the eternal Athma, which will be revealed only through Self-knowledge. One’s mind thinks, intellect reasons and body acts because of the power of Athma, which is not only one’s Self but the Self of all, being one only and all-pervasive and eternal. When this idea is uppermost in all one’s activities it will enable one to remain strong and pure even in the most adverse circumstance with love and acceptance for all. Money can buy comforts and luxury, but cannot buy inner peace and happiness nor can it remove fear.  On the contrary, more money one has, more is the fear of retaining it. The happiness one derives from sense pleasures however great it may be, is temporary only and is not free from the aftermath of mental pain and physical sickness. 

(Based on the article “The cause of Human suffering” by Swami Amartyananda)

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