What gives happiness?

(Based on Swami Paramarthananda’s talk)

The primary goal of all human beings is happiness, which is called variably as Sukha or Aanandha.  But they are not clear on what gives them happiness.  Most of them think that money and possessions will give them happiness.  But it is a misconception arising out of confusing comfort with happiness. For, no doubt, money and possessions can give comfort which is a physical condition but cannot be said to ensure invariably happiness which is a mental condition.   We find many people with money and possessions who are not happy.  At the best we can say they are comfortably unhappy while at the same time we also find a few people with little money and few possessions but are happy and cheerful.  So it is clear that there is no cause and effect relationship between money (and possessions) and happiness.  As with our limited intellect we cannot find a definite answer to the question as to what gives happiness in life, we turn to scriptures seeking the prescription for happiness. 

Scriptures say that there is only one that is the cause of happiness and that is Punyam.  Between Punyam and happiness alone there is a cause and effect relationship both at the empirical (vyavaharika) and the absolute (paramarthika) level.  Punyam can make one’s life happy irrespective of whether one has money and possessions or not.  Punyam also leads one to Athma Jnanam or Self-knowledge and thereby to Liberation (Moksha).  Scriptures also tell us that one can gain Punyam only by leading a dharmic way of life.  “What is dharmic way of life?” is expounded by scriptures and the Vedas also discuss them elaborately. The essence of dharmic way of life can be classified into noble actions (sat karmas) and noble values (sat gunas).

The scriptures discuss elaborately the various duties to be performed by individuals that come under noble actions and which are conveniently grouped as Pancha Maha Yajnas.  They are; Deva Yajna, Pitru Yajna, Manushya Yajna, Bhutha Yajna and Rishi Yajna.  These are respectively; worship of - God, one’s parents and forefathers, society, animals and plants and the Rishis who have preserved and passed on the scriptural teachings to the present generation.  Sage Vyasa has also defined the noble actions as the ones which benefit others and ignoble actions as those which harm others.  One should therefore perform actions which benefit others and Pancha Maha Yajnas and avoid actions that harm others.

Noble values have been elaborated by Lord Krishna, in Chapter 16 of Bhagavad Gita (verses 1 to 3).  These need to be practiced conscientiously with dedication. Lord Krishna also says later in this chapter and elsewhere (5-23) that if one wants to avoid suffering and enjoy happiness, one must take care of the three instinctive or natural weaknesses. These are not acquired but are universal, for every human being is afflicted by it. If one learns to manage these three, then one will live a life of values. These three weaknesses are Kama, Krodha, and Lobha (desire, anger, and greed).

Kama management is taking care of three conditions with regard to all our desires. The three conditions are: First, all our desires must be legitimate and conform to dharma.  Secondly, our desires must be moderate. If we have an inordinate number of desires, we will have to spend the entire life time in the fulfilment of these desires. There will very little time for religion or scriptural study and practically no time for spiritual development.  Thirdly, all our desires must be converted to nonbinding desires. This means converting needs to preferences. A need means without its fulfilment, we will be miserable. A preference means we accept both; its fulfilment or non-fulfilment. This is detoxification of Kama, taking the toxin or poison out of Kama. Thus our desires must be legitimate, moderate and non-binding.  Also one must develop the value of santhosha (contentment) to contain and manage Kama effectively.

Anger creates problem in two ways. First, it comes out as a violent expression that is harmful to others. It will lead to himsa or violence. According to scriptures, himsa is mahapapa (great sin). Secondly, if one swallows the anger to avoid violent action, it is equally dangerous because it gets suppressed. Suppressed anger will create problems to oneself including physical problems like psychosomatic disorders. If anger is expressed, it is harmful; and if it is suppressed it is equally harmful. So to avoid this dilemma, one needs to train oneself in non-violent expression of anger.  One must train to express strong anger without hurting others by adopting alternate methods to vent one’s strong anger.  One can write a letter expressing the violent feelings and then destroy it or one can retire to a secluded place like park, beach etc., and give vent to one’s feeling freely, shouting in solitude or indulge in some similar exercise to cool off and avoid violent actions and expressions in anger.  These are all non-violent expressions of anger and they work effectively.  One need to develop the value of Kshama (tolerance) as well for effective Krodha management.

Lobha is the notion of ownership and is associated with miserliness, stinginess, petty mindedness etc.  Lobha management is learning to share whatever one has – be it time, knowledge, or money – with somebody who is in distress. One does not own anything one thinks one owns. This includes one's own body.  Everything is a temporary gift given by the Lord for one's use for some time. The Lord can take back anything He has given at any time. One is only a trustee of what one thinks one owns.  One must cultivate the idea of trusteeship with regard to one's wealth and possessions and not have the idea of ownership.  Lobha management is effectively achieved by practicing the value of dhana (charity).

So one should cultivate noble values by effectively managing Kama, Krodha, and Lobha and keeping one’s actions noble.  This dharmic life will produce punyam and in turn produce sukham or happiness irrespective of one’s wealth and possessions.

(Adapted from Sri R.B. Athreya’s article on Swamiji’s talk)

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